Goodbye

So, here I am at work. It's not busy so I decided to surf the internet and see what was on the news. Went to CNN. There was the horrible California shooting. I saw one of those year in pictures things and clicked on it.
Big mistake.
There was a shot of a small two year old boy, a Syrian refugee washed up on the beach. People walking around and leaving this poor child face down in the sand and the first thing someone think of is to take a picture?
Yeah, you call it news. I'll stick with the destruction of human decency and leave it at this.
You win Internet.
I quit.
I'll just write my stupid little books. Publish my stupid little mini comics and zines. I need the Internet for those, but that's it.
Goodbye.
I kept this blog for Larry Stanley. I'd like to think he would support my decision in this matter.

It is 3/23/2016. A little over three months since I wrote this. In that time  I took a month off the internet, use my computer a lot less than I did and am still haunted by the image that caused this post in the first place. Add to that the increasing hostility in comic book reviewing I see no reason to come back here. Divine Exploitation will remain open. Go visit me there.

MARVEL MURDERING NAMOR

So, anyone who reads this regularly, you know, both of you, knows my opinion of what they have done to Steve Rogers by stripping him of his rightful role of Captain America. The new incarnation of The Uncanny Avengers is a step in the right direction, especially since Rick Remender left Marvel finally.
Now, they are killing Namor??? What will that accomplish? Do the hip new comic readers even know who Namor is? Does he even have a solo book?
I expect next week to hear that the original Human Torch will be scrapped for spare parts in case The Vision needs an overhaul after his crappy, new book is cancelled.
Sheesh!

THE VISION #1

I was so excited to read this comic book. The premise that the Vision is on his own with a new family that he created seemed a little odd, but it could be fun.
Then I read the comic book.
It is, without a doubt, the most depressing thing I have read in ages. The whole thing just made me sad. I want sad I can turn on the news and see what new brand of asshats is murdering innocent people.
I don't need this from a comic book.
Thanks for saving me four bucks a month Marvel.
Now, when the new Scarlet Witch comic comes out I'm gonna read it at the store before buying it.

JESSICA JONES: WILL I BOTHER?

After the abomination that was the Daredevil series and the fact that I may have read like one story with this character in it, the question remains; Will I watch it?
Why bother? I have zero investment in the story. They have proved that they care nothing for die hard fans with the slaughter of Ben Urich. Why should I bother?
I hear you out there;
But, David Tennant is in it!
So?
He's not Doctor Who is he? Then who freakin' cares? Hell, he even managed to irritate me towards the end of his run. Remember when it took him like fifteen hours to regenerate because he was being a whiny little bitch?
Yeah, just don't care.
And they are going to ruin Luke Cage. I can feel it.
BAH!

A PERSON OF COLOR

I am not fond of this recent attitude in comic books where the comic isn't legitimate unless the person writing/drawing it are the same color. What about Superman? I'm pretty sure the people putting out that comic aren't from Krypton. What are they hacks?
No, they are fiction writers.
Being able to string together words in a fashion that other people enjoy are the only prerequisite.
Not your gender.
Not your color
And as for race, there is one race.
The human race.
And I'm also not fond of the terms 'black' and 'white' for skin color.
If I saw someone with actual black or white skin it would probably terrify me.
I prefer to think of myself as a lovely shade of apricot.
And, being a lovely shade of apricot, I would like to think I'm not limited to only reading comics with other apricot colored people inhabiting the page.
That would be pretty dull.
So, when they announced that Power Man and Iron Fist were coming back I was ecstatic. Not because one of them was apricot. Not because one of them were brown. Not because the writer and artist team are also brown.
It was because it was Power Man and Iron Fist. Two of my favorite characters.
Remember, it's all about story.
I could give a damn what color you are.

UNCANNY AVENGERS #1 ... AGAIN!

Many of you know of my pure hatred of the mistreatment of Steve Rogers, the one, true Captain America. When I got back into comic books Uncanny Avengers was one of the books I picked up.
For a while.
I sickened of Rick Remender's writing style pretty quick and dropped this book and the new Captain America book that he was ruining as well. I didn't mind. They still were giving me the superior Avengers A.I.
Until they cancelled that.
Grrrrrr!
Now, Secret Wars is over, except for books where it's not. And we are starting in the brand new shiny Marvel Universe where Uncanny Avengers have returned.
Minus Remender and plus the amazing team of Gerry Duggan and Ryan Stegman. While I am not a regular Deadpool reader, apparently Duggan has been killing it there. Stegman's art style reminds me of someone and I really like it so, this is becoming a win, win situation.
Here is your new line up, folks!

Steve Rogers
Deadpoll
Human Torch
Rogue
Spider-Man
Quicksilver
Brother Voodoo
Synapse

I'm pretty excited about Voodoo being here. I don't see Spider-Man lasting long and why does his spider logo glow? Is he hiding an arc reactor in there. No idea. The human Torch's new costume is odd looking. I really love that Deapool is merchandising himself so that this new incarnation of the Avengers needs no government assistance.
Steve is fully aware that he must keep his team in the public eye and show that humans, inhumans and mutants can work together in harmony with one another.
Even when they don't.
This book reminds me of what Marvel used to be before the Cinematic Universe starting mucking things up. I like it so much I'm forgetting that they need to make Steve Rogers Captain America again.
We all know they will wait until just before the third Captain America film comes out to make that switch.
Am I right?
It's good to have an Avengers book again.
I missed them.

Another One Bites The Dust

Recently, I have found myself drawn more and more to DC Comics.Probably because I was a Marvel Zombie growing up and I can't take what they are doing to my beloved characters. One of the most surprising comics from DC that I have never  missed an issue of is Sensation Comics Featuring Wonder Woman. Many one and done stories and sometimes, multiple stories in a single issue. It reminded me of the good old days of comics where, sometimes, you just wanted to see your favorite comic characters do something within a single issue and get the job of heroing done.
Sensation Comics was that comic for me. I really enjoy every issue.
Now, DC is cancelling it.
That should help with their diversity thingie.
NOT!
This sucks. It saves me four bucks a month, but still sucks.

So, another movie I don't have to watch.

In the news, director Zack Snyder of the new Superman/Batman flick had this to say;


"I look at [Batman vs. Superman] as more being mythological than, say, bubblegum. And I think that that’s appropriate for Batman and Superman because they’re the most mythological of our superheroes […] But I feel like Batman and Superman are transcendent of superhero movies in a way, because they’re Batman and Superman. They’re not just, like, the flavor of the week Ant-Man—not to be mean, but whatever it is. What is the next Blank-Man?"

Look, I didn't go see Ant-Man either. I also haven't seen a non Christopher Reeve Superman movie. Not. Going. To. Happen.  Not my superheroes. Do not care.

I absolutely loved 300. I even liked Sucker Punch. It reminded me of a Vertigo comic. Watchmen was acceptable as well. Those are, apparently, the last Zack Snyder movies I have to concern myself with.

Kind of a dick move on the part of some guy who made a cartoon with owls.

Dick. Move. Snyder.

P.S. I thought of putting a picture up with this as I am fully aware of how the Internets are all squishy squashy happy about getting a shiny picture to stare at when they read a story, but I didn't fucking feel like it.

Have an excellent weekend, folks. 

I look at [Batman vs. Superman] as more being mythological than, say, bubblegum. And I think that that’s appropriate for Batman and Superman because they’re the most mythological of our superheroes […] But I feel like Batman and Superman are transcendent of superhero movies in a way, because they’re Batman and Superman. They’re not just, like, the flavor of the week Ant-Man—not to be mean, but whatever it is. What is the next Blank-Man?

Read More: Zack Snyder Disses Marvel, ‘Ant-Man’ While Talking ‘Batman vs. Superman’ | http://comicsalliance.com/zack-snyder-batman-vs-superman-ant-man/?trackback=tsmclip

I look at [Batman vs. Superman] as more being mythological than, say, bubblegum. And I think that that’s appropriate for Batman and Superman because they’re the most mythological of our superheroes […] But I feel like Batman and Superman are transcendent of superhero movies in a way, because they’re Batman and Superman. They’re not just, like, the flavor of the week Ant-Man—not to be mean, but whatever it is. What is the next Blank-Man?

Read More: Zack Snyder Disses Marvel, ‘Ant-Man’ While Talking ‘Batman vs. Superman’ | http://comicsalliance.com/zack-snyder-batman-vs-superman-ant-man/?trackback=tsmclip

Comics I Bought 8/21/15

So, it has been a while for one of these. Had to skip my bi weekly trip to the comic book store last time so, there are tons of new comics. Some might have pictures. Some might not. Which ones? No idea.
Ready?
Good let's kick it off with;

The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #8

I never get tired of this book. And fighting the Asgardian Squirrel God comes to an end. Loki was cool, the book was funny and I still don't read those little things at the bottom of every other page. Feels like the end of a story arc leading up to an all new issue #1 because, well, let's face it. Sometimes, Marvel is kinda dumb.

DC Comics Bombshells #1




Hurray! A World War 2 all female hero comic book. Based off of some really cool retro statues. I don't know, but this might be the first time a series of statues inspired a comic book series. I hope this comic is around for a minimum of a hundred issues. Good stuff.

Mrs. Deadpool and The Howling Commandos.

So, Mrs. Deadpool finds the thingie she needs to get revenge against Dracula for killing Deadpool. This issue seems to embrace the silliness of the whole affair better than the previous issues. Also, introducing Weirdworld in another comic is pretty cool as well.

Red Skull #2



Red Skull saves Magneto, chugs some Sentinel coolant and introduces Magneto to Annihilus so he can reveal his plan to bring down the shield and kill Doom. Sound confusing? Sure it does, it's a Marvel epic crossover, isn't it? Still, I like the comic for what it is.

Swords of Sorrow #4

Two issues to go and all is coming to a head. The ladies for good have grouped together to take on the bad girls one at a time. The bad girls don't stand a chance. At first I thought this felt a bit rushed, but now it seems to be unfolding at a proper rate. Kind of curious to see how they are going to end this one.

Kaijumax 4 &5

At first I really liked this book. The concept of Monster Island meets Orange IS The New Black sounded a little intriguing. Yeah, now it's more prison-ey than before and I am loosing interest. We'll see how long this lasts on my pull list.

Justice Inc. The Avenger #3

And a hearty thank you to Mark Waid for giving me The Avenger I remember from my younger days. Half Invisible creatures! Cliffhangers galore! And Nazis! Nothing can go wrong with this comic book and I am so glad to see that Waid is doing such a great job with this book. And the art work by Ronnilson Freire is well suited to the subject matter. A truly great book.


Sensation Comics featuring Wonder Woman #13



In the middle of a heated battle between Crime Syndicate's Superwoman and Wonder Woman there is time for a lesson to never settle and always strive to be your best. I like the issues with more than one story, but this was fine. A bunch of people wrote and drew it so, no chance of me putting them all here. It's still a great issue and I like that she kind of makes fun of the new, completely covered, terrible Wonder Woman costume in the issue. If you really love good old fashioned super hero stories then you do owe it to yourself to get this comic.

Bizarro #3



They do such a great job with this comic that it makes my head hurt trying to translate what Bizarro is saying. We get a town of ghosts with an old western vibe and a relative of Jonah Hex as well. Chastity Hex needs her own book. You hear me DC??? Chastity Hex! Own Book! NOW!!! I hope that before we get to issue 6 that they realize we should get this book to continue for all time. Maybe it is an unlimited series? Bizarro would call an unlimited series a mini series so, it makes sense, Yeah, we'll go with that.

Invader Zim #2

My children introduced me to Invader Zim the cartoon. It is weird and gross and funny. I do like Gir. He makes me laugh. The comic manages to do the same and I'm glad we get a continued fix of Zim. Maybe will decide to keep it going after the proposed 10 issues.

Weirdworld #3

Arkon escapes the clutches of Morgana Le Fey with the last of the Crystal Warriors. And then Morgana sends some guy to kill him. This issue seemed off to me. I can't put my finger on it, but it just didn't compare to the two previous issues and I'm not sure why. Next issues promises The Queen of The Man-Things and a bunch of Man-Things so, I assume I will really like that issue. If nothing else I do want to see how artist Mike Del Mundo paints them. I'll probably demand a poster or something at that point.

So, some books were great, some not so great. Nothing awful and you can look at a previous post for the new Martian Manhunter book. I really like that book.

If you email me your contact info (dwaltzwriter@yahoo.com) I will mail you a copy of my new Man-Thing Micro Comic absolutely free! Get yours while supplies last!

MARTIAN MANHUNTER

 

 So, finances dictated that I was unable to make my last bi weekly trip to Fanfare. This week I picked up a lot of comic books. Two of them were Martian Manhunter 2 & 3. I have always loved Martian Manhunter. A lot of times I have felt that people didn't get him. Giffen and DeMatteis from the old Justice LEague days did and those are great issues.
Now, with a new configuration of the DC Universe thanks to Convergence, we get a new series.
This is so good.
It reminds me of the recent reboot of Dial H for Hero and old school Vertigo. It is revealing something that we all took for granted is horribly wrong.
J'onn J'onzz is not the last Martian.
While some might look at that as a cause for celebration, nothing could be farther from the truth.
The writing on this book is so good. Author Rob Williams brings his A game to a series that might just be the most interesting thing that DC has done in years.
The art by Eddy Barrows is epic. Twisted, dark and just insane in some panels.
A lot of people forget that J'onn is a shapeshifter.
That is brought to glorious, horrific life by Barrows.
There are only three issues out right now and if you want an intriguing story with fantastic artwork starring one of the mainstay characters of the DC Universe, then you need this book.
As I said earlier I bought a lot of books this week. I'll be back this weekend to cover them all.
Seeya!

See, ain't this some creepy stuff??

SECRET WAS (Not a typo)

I remember when Marvel announced this big, game changing crossover event, Secret Wars. I think I worried for nothing. My wife says I do that a lot so, it must be true. The event is almost over, I have bought maybe three titles and enjoyed them and ignored the vast majority of things that Marvel has released. Kind of like what I did with DC's Convergence.
Hopefully, they have gotten this out of their system and we can just have normal comic books again.
Yeah, I don't believe it either.
And, since Rick Remender quit I can buy Uncanny Avengers again.
Just counting the days until they realize that the new Captain America is dumb and we can have Steve Rogers back again.
Probably about the same time that the new Captain America movie comes out.
(Feel free to insert sarcasm anywhere you see fit. It really goes anywhere.)

DEVIL DINOSAUR

 I still remember when the first series by Jack Kirby came out. At the same time as his Machine Man series. Both were excellent and classic Kirby. Neither series lasted long, but Marvel never lets a character go and both ended up showing up in the Marvel Universe from time to time. I always felt Devil got the short end of the stick.
But not lately.



One of the shining moments of the new epic crossover Secret Wars at Marvel is Planet Hulk. Steve Rogers as a barbarian with his faithful companion Devil Dinosaur is truly inspired storytelling. I will be sad when Marvel goes back to normal.
But, there will be a bright spot.

 

Devil Dinosaur and Moon Girl.
No, that's not a typo. Devil's new companion is a small, African American girl who has adventures with the coolest dinosaur in the world.
I think this will work on a number of levels. Dinosaurs are big again thanks to Jurassic World. Diversity of any kind is welcomed with open arms by the comic buying community. The artwork looks fantastic and I think Devil will finally have a home with Marvel for a long time to come.
At least I hope so.
I really like that big, red, dinosaur.

So, this Hercules thing...

So, Marvel Comics announced they were doing a new Hercules comic. That's cool. I like Hercules in the Marvel Universe. I seem to remember him being kind of an ass in DC Universe. Anyway, they were asked if he would be bisexual as is his nature in Greek Mythology and Marvel shut that down pretty damn quick. Hell, they even made fun of it and now everyone is in an uproar.
You know what?
Doesn't matter.
It's a fictional character. They have their version of it and they want him to be straight.
Who. Fucking. Cares? (TM Dan Taylor)
You don;t like it? Write your own comic. I have a mini comic called Thor for no other reason than 1.) I can 2.) I bring more of the Norse mythology version of Thor. Mine is a red headed asshole who incorporates more of Norse mythology and Marvel can't do a damned thing about it. Hell, I even make fun of their Thor in the process.
Heh, heh, good times.
Anyway, there are more important things in the world than arguing the sexual preferences of a fictional character and everyone needs to settle the fuck down.
In closing I would like to share with you my favorite piece of art in the whole wide world.
James Waterhouse's Hylas And The Nymphs.

For those unaware, Hylas is at the water getting water for Hercules. Hylas is Hercules' boy toy. The Nymphs have other ideas and drag him to his death as water nymphs are wont to do. It is an amazing piece of art and, you know what? Hercules being straight, gay, bi sexual or a God Damned Furry doesn't affect this painting in any way shape or form.
Get a life, people.

Comics I Bought July 24th 2015

Usually, I got get all the pretty covers and hunt down who wrote and drew the damned things. Yeah, I got some great comics this week, but I really don't feel like the work. Also, if I don't remember the issue number were gonna skip that too.
Ready?
Here we go!

UNBEATABLE SQUIRREL GIRL #7
I really like this book. It feels like I have missed an issue because I like to scroll through the racks at Fanfare so, it is possible. I'm not a big fan of the pull list. They are fighting this Asgardian Squirrel who is mad at the world. It is making everyone angry. The part where Squirrel Girl and her friends have a run in with grumpy Avengers is hilarious. I think I might just switch to trade paperbacks for this book. I keep missing issues or my daughter loses them. Yeesh!

SWORDS OF SORROW: RED SONJA AND JUNGLE GIRL #1
When they announced Swords of Sorrow I was pretty excited. The concept seemed pretty fun and the more issues I read the better it got. I promised myself I wasn't going to buy any of the spin offs, but then I saw this cover;



SOLD! And, luckily, the inside story was good. The interaction between the two main characters is tinged with comedic flair and the whole thing seems to work pretty well. I wish I had seen there was three issues. I really thought it was a one shot. Oh well, I'll buy them. The Swords of Sorrow storyline has been a wonderful concept and I might be a little sad when it's all over in October.

JUSTICE LEAGUE 3001 #2
 I was never a real fan of JL3K. I read a few of the first issues, but it didn't do it for me. Knowing J.M. De Matteis I decided to come back to the new incarnation. Two issues in and it's a really fun book. I think I didn't like that it felt like they were kicking the corpse of The Justice League in the far flung future. Now I realize that by doing so they have more freedom in the book than most of the outpuit from DC. Smart move, gentlemen. I'll be sticking with this book for the foreseeable future. I also liked the funny FAQs in the back of the book. Made me nostalgic for the old Justice League book.

I know I said I wasn't posting pictures, but this is such a pretty, wraparound cover.

\

PLANET HULK #3
Still with this book. Steve Rogers, Devil Dinosaur and Doctor Banner are making their way across Greenland to kill The Red King and free Bucky Barnes. Fighting gamma monsters along the way. I have always been a fan of Devil Dinosaur and I like that they get what he is. He's a dinosaur that never loses. He is also warbound to Steve Rogers and nothing will keep him from his side. Nothing. I think of all the books for Secret Wars this might be the one that I will miss the most.

WEIRDWORLD #2
My other favorite book. The art reminds me of Bill Sienkiewicz and just the sheer insanity of the place makes me love each issue of this book even more. Another one I will truly miss. If there was  any way to continue the tale of Arkon as he searches for his beloved Polemachus I would like to see it. He reminds me a little of Elric. Plus we get Crystar the Crystal Warrior...well, sort of. What do you expect? It's Weirdworld!

That's all for this time. I'm doing it from memory from work and there is a thunderstorm coming which plays chaos with my arthritis.
Seeya next time boys and girls!

Hurray!

So this news hit the Magical Interwebs;

http://www.comicbookresources.com/article/rick-remender-taking-a-break-from-marvel-comics-after-8-years

Here's hoping that the horrible damage he has done to some of my favorite characters can finally be reversed.

Seeya Rick! May you find success elsewhere and never return to Marvel Comics.

Go fuck up DC for a while. Maybe Batman. I never read Batman.

Comics I Bought 6/12/15

With Convergence wrapping up as Secret Wars starts to build up some steam I made a trek to the fabulous comic book palace known as Fanfare. My wife was happy to see GROOT #1 which I would have to agree is a great comic.
Let's see how the rest of my pile of comics fared

WEIRDWORLD #1
A Secret Wars tie in. I remember the original story that is nothing like this. Arkon the Barbarian  who has been a bad guy in the Marvel Universe for decades is trapped in a Weird World that he did not make and is trying to make it back to his home of Polemachus. That would be great except the queen of the realm is Morgana Le Fey and she wants Polemachus for herself. The artwork is awesome, the writing is spot on. I haven't seen anything these gentlemen have done before and I really like it. I did squeal a little when Morgana mentions the Man-Things and their Swamp Queen. Plural?? Really? I can't wait to see how this plays out and if it will survive the Secret Wars.

BAT MITE #1
Yeah, I know who Bat Mite is. That being said, I expected it to be funnier. Just kind of meh. Not good for a first book.



MRS DEADPOOL AND THE HOWLING COMMANDOS #1
Whne you get Man-Things, Werewolf by Night, Frankenstein's Monster, N'Kantu The Mummy and some centaur dude and their job is to keep an eye on Mrs. Deadpool who doesn't marry Deadpool in this tale which makes it odd that they call her Mrs. Deadpool. Anyway, this is what it should be; self referential material by Deadpool's ghosts, Monsters, Mayhem and a quest that Mrs. Deadpool should never be able to survive. While I never bought Deadpool, this book has me hooked.

KAIJUMAX #2
A cross between Destroy All Monsters and Orange IS The New Black? Hurt your head a little to read that, didn't it? Yeah, this is the second issue and creator Zander Cannon keeps making it work. I hope this book is around for years to come. Especially since Godzilla, Rulers of the Earth is done in one issue.

SWORDS OF SORROW #2
Is that Vampirella versus a T-Rex on the cover? Why it is. And the story keeps moving from there. The ladies that got their titular swords last issue are still kind of clue less as to what they are for. It was cool to see Red Sonja on Mars and it really isn't necessary to read the umpteen crossover books that go with this story. I am a little worried that there are only four issues left and that nothing has really started story wise to explain what they are going to do, but it still reads and looks great. Seeing Jane kick ass with her sword is worth the price of the book alone.

JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS #3
The Misfits in rare form are plotting to ruin a charity event where Jem and The Holograms will be playing. Jerrica and Rico have a date. Stormer and Kimber's romance is off to a rocky start. The best thing about this book that it is exactly what the show would be if it was made right now, but without losing any of the classic aspects that continue to make Jem a fan favorite from decades ago.

SENSATION COMICS STARRING WONDER WOMAN #10
If you had told me a year ago that one of my favorite new issues to see on the rack was a Wonder WLoman comic book I would have said 'NO Way! Give me my Captain America!' We all know that there isn't a Captain America book for me out at this time, well except for Planet Hulk and that's kind of a stretch. But this book is just so good. Wonder Woman as a security guard for a pop singer and she fights a dragon in the second story?!?!?! There are so many other characters out there that would benefit from a one and done comic on the market. I wonder why more of these aren't getting made and am glad that this one is still around.

JOHN CARTER WARLORD OF MARS # 6&7
NUmber six wraps up the story line of the madman from Earth who has teamed up with aliens to destroy John CArter. Yeah, that didn't go so well for him.Issue seven is like icing on a delicious cake. John and Dejah go on a little adventure out into the wilds of Mars and John Carter is taken out by the Warhoon. They then decide to have their way with Dejah Thoris now that they have knocked out her super man.
Yeah, she proves that the Warhoon are idiots and just plows through them like a warrior princess or something. Guess that Swords of Sorrow thing is leaking into other titles. Such a great story!

BIZARRO #1

Okay, this is the one. The best book I bought all week. Written by Heath Corson with art by Gustavo Duarte and Bill Sienkiewicz (Even though I couldn't tell) Bizarro tells the road trip tale of Bizarro and Jimmy Olsen. The cartoony art works for this really well and it doesn't take long until Jimmy and Bizarro find them face to face with KING TUT! I thought he was a Batman villain, but in this one he sells used cars and prays to Egyptian gods to give him powers. They do, sort of, and now he can fulfill his goal...
Selling cars!
I laughed so hard reading this book I had to stop more thna once and let me tell you who the new, break out star of the book is and who should get his own book;
Colin the Chupacabra.
Seriously, it is so good and the art matches with the story and, well Colin the Chupacabra. If DC stops this after six issues like it says on the cover they would be doing a grave disservice to the comic reading public.
So good.
Colin the Chupacabra.

Well, that's it for this time. I was amazed at how well I liked the Secret Wars comics I got this time around. Once again DC dominated with Bizarro and Wonder Woman and the independents continue to get some of my cash.
Seeya in two weeks!

Dissecting the New Marvel

Okay, after Secret Wars wraps up the entire line will reboot with first issues and Marvel has released this image to correspond with the event. Also, apparently it's important to note that the new rebooted line starts eight months after Secret Wars is over.
Whatever.



Alright, we start out good with Phil Coulson. It's always good to have Phil Coulson in anything so bravo. Gee, you want to have the new Captain America (BLEH!) But have to include Steve Rogers BECAUSE EVERY FRIGGIN MARVEL MOVIE HAS HIM IN IT!!! Just change him back already. It's okay, we promise not to tell. Maybe fire Rick Remender because I haven't said that in a while. Ant-Man, I got no problem with Ant-Man, he's cool.
What is going on with Black Panther's ears? Those are stupid, Fix it.
Lady Thor? Sure, why not?
MS. Marvel. Never read it, don't care. People seem to like it and it makes bank so why not?
That Iron Man outfit looks like a 90's throwback.
The Vision changes costumes more than The Wasp these days. As long as he's The Vision I don;t care. Insert plea to bring back Avengers A.I. anywhere in this column.
I see a lot of Spiders on this picture. They still haven't explained what happened to Spider-Woman's chest. Spider Gwen is cool even though it craps on the original death of Gwen Stacy. And the Spider Kid from the Ultimate Universe seems cool so, we can keep him.

Finally, when did Turok become part of the Marvel Universe? (Apparently, this is Red Wolf. I remember Red Wolf...cool!)
Weird!

Comics I Bought 6/1/2015

So, with Motor City Comic Con two weeks past I was able to get into the comic store again. It boggled my mind how many friggin comic books DC and Marvel had out. So many titles it made my head swim a bit. True to my word I have ignored Convergence all together, but I did dip my toe into Secret Wars. You'll see below

SWORDS OF SORROW #1
Writer Gail Simone
Artist Sergio Davila

A huge crossover of nothing but female characters from various forms of literature? This sounds amazing. Jana of the Jungle, Dejah Thoris, Vampirella, Red Sonja, Jane Greystoke all in a single series. What can I say? The art is great. The storyline that is really just the set up for the rest of the series works well and keeps things moving. I had no idea Kato was a woman now. When did that happen? Anyway, while I probably won't chase down all the miniseries that accompany this book, I will stick with the core book. This is a really novel idea and I can't wait to see how it plays out.
I wanted to add a comment on the cover; it seems there are like thirty variant covers. That's fine, but I got this one. While Vampirella and Dejah Thoris are passable at best, but Red Sonja looks so good! The expression on her face, the detail of the artwork. This is the best Red Sonja I have seen in a very long time. My favorite cover in a while.   

GODZILLA RULERS OF THE EARTH #24
Writer Chris Frank
Artist Matt Frank

One more double sized issue after this one and then it is over. A little over two years I haven't missed an issue and now it is over. The alien race trying to waste the Earth and all of our Kaiju has made a grievous error by releasing Gigan. Add the monsters that can duplicate Godzilla's powers and a hint at King Ghidorah and we know that the final issue is going to be the best of the series. I'm still sad it's over, but ti was a great run.

SHIELD 5
Writer Mark Waid
Artist Mike Choi

SHIELD #6
Writer Mark Waid
Artist Paul Renaud

After touching base with Dr. Strange last issue, Phil Coulson is confronted with a man who can shoot magic bullets. He is able to take out the likes of Damian Hellstrom, his sister Satana and pretty much any magic wielder on the planet. Scarlet Witch comes along fro the ride and they discover that there is a bigger plan and it's got Dormammu's name written all over it.
While I am always glad to see Man-Thing in any comic I felt that the first issue had passable art, bt it just didn't look good to me. The second issue had better art and idea of a curse that would turn humans into The Mindless Ones was genius. I laughed when it appears that the smarter you are the sooner you turn into one of the unthinking beasts. This was a good two parter, but I miss the funny one pager that had been running in the back of the comic since it started. They should definitely bring that back.

WHERE MONSTERS DWELL #1
Writer Garth Ennis
Artist Russ Braun

Having been a huge Phantom Eagle fan I was a little sad that they depict him here as some sort of low life. It comes across more as a sleazy Indiana Jones meets The Land That Time Forgot than anything else. It is a limited series and I am a big dinosaur fan, but I don't know if I'm going to finish this mini series. Not a good first foray into Battleworld.

PLANET HULK #1

Writer Sam Humphries
Artist Marc Laming

This is the book I have been waiting for. Since Rick Remender ruined Captain America for me years ago, it was nice to see Steve Rogers back in tip top fighting form. Having Devil Dinosaur as his sidekick made it even better. So, Doctor Doom runs the place and Dr. Strange is his second in command? That seems, I don't know...stupid? I know that Doom loves being in charge, but it seems cliche in this case.
Steve Rogers is sent from the gladiator pits to Greenland where all the Hulks live to save his partner, Bucky. Okay, so there was a World War 2 here on Battleworld? Is this the same Steve Rogers I know from decades of comic books? See, I really need someone to give me some answers pretty damned quick here.
Also, this book was 4.99??? Five bucks and it has a two page spread that is just big green letters giving us the title of the comic book again. You guys are making enough green off of this little Secret Wars endeavor and you gotta hack us for an additional buck. Bad form. I'm still going to buy it...for a while.

So, there you have it. Some winners, some losers and me wondering if my precious Marvel Comics will ever be the same. See ya next time kids!
  

Here's An Odd Thing...

I just looked at the covers of the August solicitations. There were 71 different covers for me to look at.
I was interested in five of them. And only because Man-Thing was on the cover of the third issue of Weirdworld.

Cool cover, huh?

Five?!?!?!
That's all I'm getting from this?
I don't know, Marvel. This could be the beginning of the end.
Maybe I can just find another hobby.
Yeah, right!

In DC news I did the same thing and came up with six. But, two of them Bizarro and Bat-Mite are currently slated as limited series so, that would be 4. Still not great.



IDW has already cancelled Godzilla: Rulers of the Earth so in independents land I know I have John Carter, Warlord of Mars.
Not a great time to be a comic book fan.
BLEH!

Secret Wars: A Conspiracy Theory

Okay, we all know that the Marvel Universe has been around for 75 years. Not once have they tried a reboot like DC Comics does on annual basis. Now, they say that everything dies?!?! Well, sure, but these are fictional characters and we have cared about them for a long time.
And now they're all dead???
Just like that??
Way to build goodwill for your fan base, Marvel!
Anyway, this is obviously housekeeping to try and line things up more with the Marvel Cinematic Universe that Disney wants to make them acres and acres of money. If they can convince a movie goer to pick up a comic book because it's just like the movie, then they can make more money off the movie going public.

I'm going to insert an old man BAH! here right now.

BAH!

I'm going to guess that what Marvel is doing is streamlining things. They have this one guy who has been writing Avengers for the last two years, I think his name is Hickman...who cares? Anyway, he has been orchestrating the whole plot of this for the entire time and now it has blossomed out of control into this huge mess.

BAH!

If everyone dies, who are all these superheroes?
I have yet to get an answer to this and I think Marvel is betting on us buying the comics to find out.
Yeah, not gonna happen.
I'll wait until yet another giant, mindless crossover is finished, check what has happened, if anything, and then see if Marvel can give me a Captain America comic book I'm willing to read.
It has been years.

BAH!

CAT FIGHT!!

Leave it to good old Comics Alliance to give us what essentially boils down to a cat fight over a comic book.
It seems that a columnist for The New Yorker, Dr. Jill Lepore decided to watch the new Avengers movie with a pair of ten year olds, read the new issue of A-Force (The new Marvel comic that has nothing but female super heroes in it).

CLICK HERE TO READ THE ARTICLE

Well, the writer of that issue, Ms. G. Willow Wilson decided to be offended. Since it smacks of feminism, Comics Alliance gave her some web space to post her retort.  Why shouldn't they? Everyone deserves to respond to the slings and arrows of their opponents.
Right?

CLICK HERE TO READ HER RESPONSE

Here's the problem;
Dr. Lepore is only criticizing what the heroines look like. She never once mentions the story. G. Willow Wilson is never criticized in this entire article. The characters she writes for A-Force are not her own. She is a writer for hire. She did not create any of these female superheroes. Well, unless the new Ms. Marvel is in there. She did create her after all.
Here's the other problem;
Dr. Lepore's piece is an op-ed piece. Ms. Wilson admits to this in her lengthy response. Here's the definition for all involved;

an essay in a newspaper or magazine that gives the opinion of the writer and that is written by someone who is not employed by the newspaper or magazine.

Didja see the word opinion? Didja catch the part where we live in America and everyone is entitled to their opinion? Sure, Ms. Wilson has hers, but she does her snarky best to try and make Dr. Lepore's opinion invalid.
Bad form, Ms. Wilson.
Let me make this incredibly easy for all involved. Comic books have been around for a very long time. They are, in my opinion, an art form. The art comes from the perfect blend of story and art. Sometimes the story is so good you don't need great art. Neil Gaiman's stuff could be done with stick figures and it would work.  Sometimes, the art is so good we forgive the story, but not nearly as often as when the tables are turned.
Everyone just needs to write good stories, entertain people and it will make everyone happy. The agenda needs to stop whether it's feminist, anti feminist, whatever I don't feel like googling a bunch of agendas to list here.
I have been reading comic books for fifty years and do you want to know what it's all about? What makes comics books my preferred form of entertainment?
It's that they are comic books.
Stop trying to bend them to your will. Leave them alone. If you're trying to do something different, then by all means do it! Call it something else!
Stop calling it comic books then.
And, in case it needed saying, keep off of my damned lawn.

Fridays, Because...Why Not?: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season Two wrap up.

A second season of SHIELD has come and gone and the body count this time around is off the charts. If you don't want to know, stop reading right now.
I was pretty happy that I called Skye's Dads' Mr. Hyde transformation. It didn't look great, but I was happy to see it.
The final reveal that Skye's mom is a murdering psychopath was awesome and Fitz figuring out how to stop Gordon's teleportation was pretty cool. Gordon basically killing himself was okay. Seems he would know not to do that, but maybe in the heat of the moment.
Skye's dad getting a mindwipe and becoming a veterinarian was bittersweet. I hope she keeps visiting him even if he doesn't remember her. I'm betting with the chemicals raging through his system that it might not be a permanent wipe.
Ward killing his girlfriend was an interesting twist and I don't know how I feel about him being some kind of HYDRA splinter group. I really wish they would just kill him. I wrote him off after he turned so, why can't Marvel. I understand a good villain, but he really just needs to die.
Here is my final statement as to the end of the season;

Dear Marvel,

If you harm a single hair on the fictional head of one Jemma Simmons, and I do mean ONE HAIR, then we are done. Don't think I won't do it. I bailed on Daredevil on Episode 12!!!! They were stupid and killed Ben Urich. I really liked that show and they crossed the line.
At least the show Prison Break was smart enough to not piss me off until the very last episode. Sneaky bastards!
So, to reiterate, bring that shapely British butt back to the show completely unharmed and we will be fine.
Otherwise...
I will be angry.
You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
No threat, just a promise.

SAVE SIMMONS!!!!

OH DC...What are you doing??? (Part 2)

A while back DC released sneak peeks of new titles. I honestly liked one of them. This time two look interesting and I might be interested in a third. Lets go again shall we?

DR. FATE

Eight page preview and Dr. Fate's helmet shows upon the last page??? I'm gonna need more than this for any form of interest.

AQUAMAN

This looks cool. Not one of the two I was interested in. It's that third one I mentioned.

JUSTICE LEAGUE 3001

I can never decide if I like this. A female Guy Gardner is pretty funny though..

ACTION COMICS

This looks...dumg.

BAT MITE

Funny stuff! I'll buy a couple of these. Might as well Howard The Duck sucks now.

BIZARRO

This is my favorite sneak peek so far. I love the art and it made me laugh. Too bad it's a limited series. Maybe DC will see the error of their way.  Maybe.

GREEN LANTERN: THE LOST ARMY

Bleh! PASS!

LOBO

I didn't even read the sneak peek of this abomination. This is not LOBO.

Here's some art;

Secret Wars...Here's my problem

Okay, as the Secret Wars thingie rapidly approaches...Hell, it could be here already. I won't make it to a comic shop until the end of May, I keep hearing something.
"Everyone dies."
Really? Are they really dead? If they are, who are these heroes that we have in the Secret Wars? Is the Steve Rogers of Planet Hulk not the Captain America near and dear to my heart. Is every story that has been published by Marvel for the last 75 years meaningless?
Because, if that is the case, while Marvel touts this a perfect jumping on point for readers, it might be the perfect jumping off point for me. There are years and years of Marvel Comics from the past where they didn't feel it was necessary to reinvent the wheel with these mindless event comics.
Maybe I'll just read those instead.
Probably spend less money in the long run.
Yeah, that sounds just fine to this old man.
Thanks for nothing, Marvel.