Before this viewing an hour ago I had honestly never heard of this movie which, as it seems, is a bit of a crying shame. First of all, wen you combine such heavy-hitting B-list actors as Wings Hauser, Bo Hopkins, George Kennedy, and Brion James and you don't actively seek that film out like a blood lusting hound dog, well you're just letting the best in life slip past. Coupled with that, you find this film and it's called NIGHTMARE AT NOON, well, the choice to watch it was pretty much made for me.
NIGHTMARE AT NOON, DIR: NIKO MASTORAKIS (SOUNDTRACK PROVIDED BY HANS ZIMMER, OF ALL PEOPLE) 1988, RATED R, APPROX. 132 MINUTES
As soon as this skewed view on a semi-modern Western opens, we see an Albino (no name for this guy - Brion James) creating something out of a circa-80's Commodore 64 complete with random numbers and machines with arbitrarily flashing lights. At first, it looks like something out of a bad Sci-Fi movie, until we see the outside of the van/facility where the Albino prepares to soot some kind of yellow-fluid filled capsule into a river. A slew of armed men from another van arrive and fend off (and by fend I mean unnecessarily slaughter) a passerby in his old truck and push him, too into the river. And now, once the goo is shot into the water, the real fun begins.
Arriving into town in a really snazzy retro-RV is Ken (Wings Hauser) and his far too attractive wife, Cheri (Kimberly Beck) sporting a top that more than makes up for her gorge-rising acting skills. They trundle into town, both not quite made for the life on the road as they're from a far more urban (see: wealthy) area and are immediately curious/taken aback by a drifter called Reilly (Bo Hopkins) whom they quickly invite into their rig. They all decide a nice breakfast is in order and pull into the nearest 'DINER' for a fill up. While placing their orders, a local crud named Charlie starts going ape shit and sticks a steak knife into the waitress's hand! It takes all the combined power (see: slow methodical choreography) of the trio to hold him back, and even as the 'cop' arrives, Charlie is still bat-shit crazy enough to steal her gun and only falls when... GEORGE KENNEDY (as Sheriff Hanks - so cool!) fills him full of holes. Soon, more reports of wacky townsfolk start pouring in to Hanks and he and Reilly and Ken determine it's likely the cause of something in the water (because, apparently, any other option seems too far fetched?), and down goes Cheri because she'd had a tall glass for breakfast.
Once the 'hot chick' is sedated in a jail cell for a ton of the movie (crap), the rest go on a town-wide hunt for anyone who's been transformed by the tainted water supply. As it turns out, it's a whole bunch. This goes on for a bit until the Military arrives and firebombs the joint leaving our heroes to decide to go after the Albino and his cohorts. At this point the whole Western thing really kicks into gear, up to and including a showdown of sorts.
Not too bad a flick all in all, and it was really nice to see a town full of raging maniacs who weren't some kind of super zombies for a change. Oh, and the best line in the whole thing, uttered by Reilly to an abstinent Cheri: "You know what I think? I think you're overdue for a good fuck." If only. Check it out, if just for the slew of familiar faces and an oddly-placed helicopter duel!