EPISODE 420: 1991- THE HUMAN DUPICATORS (STARRING RICHARD KIEL AND HUGH BEAUMONT - 1965)
As bad movies go, this one wasn't only rotten to the core, but just about as boring as witnessing paint cure. Basically, Richard Kiel -the acting and projecting dynamo that he so obviously is- plays Dr.Kolos, a being from another part of the galaxy who has been sent to Earth by his superiors, three heads emblazoned in green, yellow and blue who also happen to be exactly the same. They want Kolos to re-inhabit our world with HUMAN DUPLICATES of everyone, for some stupid reason like conquest or something. The acting prowess of Richard Kiel locates an at-first-unwilling Dr. Dornheimer and tells him he, too can be a part of android creation. Ah, but his blind niece, Lisa suspects trouble afoot. Fast forward a bunch of days (it lost me here) and the new duplicates are now effectively stealing from government SPACE RESEARCH CORPORATION. Enter cop Glenn Martin who swears to get to the bottom of all this mess, with or without his exceptionally irritating girlfriend, Gale. But soon, he, too, has been snagged by the evil robots and subsequently duplicated. Bummer. Finally, once Kolos discovers he, too, is an android by proxy of his odd 'humanity', everyone explodes. Wow. Oh, and Hugh Beaumont's in it, too. Trust me.
The invention exchange was classic and made me laugh stupidly all the way through. At first, the Mads couldn't send theirs due to a sudden attack of the sillies (see: goofy laughing fit), so Joel and the bots send up theirs: a huge Chopper Beanie that doesn't, much to the bot's chagrin, "Go through the roof." Then, the Mads send theirs amid fits of chuckling: a William Conrad fridge alarm. Then they really lost it. Very funny.
CLASSIC LINES:
Joel :(After Kolos beams to Earth) "Oh no, he got beamed into The Song Of The South!"
Tom : (As Kolos goes up to a huge mansion) "So what's his mission?"
Crow : "I don't know, selling band candy or something."
Kolos : "I am Kolos!"
Crow : "And Diet Kolos!"
Crow : (Seeing Glenn's dapper suit) "Woah! Did he pull that suit off the Riddler!"
Gale to Glenn : "But I already have a dinner date (Oh, her voice is nasally Bostonian)
Glenn : "Break it."
Crow : (Emulating Gale perfectly) "Jeez, what a dickweed!"
Glenn : (Wandering around Dr. Dornheimer's study with a glass)
Crow : "Any more booze over here?"
Dr. Dornheimer : (Making a duplicate of an Asian Woman)
Crow : "Look! HUNAN Duplicator!"
2 comments:
See, I had actually seen this flick before it was MSTIed and I thought it was a fine example of trashy sci fi. Of course, MSTIE made it better, but it was alright. Trivia; The huge glowing power source when Kiel is in the saucer that spins around on the pillar. It's three huge glass ashtrays glued together.
Cool, huh?!?
I did not know that. Any of that. I'm sorry you liked it, I almost fell asleep. Of curse I could blame my stupid Spring Cold and/or Richard Kiel. Does it even matter?
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