Friday, August 31, 2007



Directed By Joe Lynch

October 2007 Dir. DVD

Horror/Suspense 93 minutes

Wow. That’s just about the most basic of a beginning to a review I can possibly give but –and trust me on this one- it absolutely fits. In addition I think I need to coin a new horror movie genre title here, while I’m at it, and it is: Hillbilly Splatter. Oh, and by the way, I just finished WRONG TURN II. Speaking of splatter, it has been a long while since I’ve seen just a down to earth, nitty gritty mess like this one, and it really did my cynical horror-loving heart good. Yeah, sure, the whole back-woods family fear fest has been around for a while, so it isn’t like the concept is especially new, but even so, this really grabbed what could have been just another lackluster gore flick by the reigns and led it right off the beaten path.

Basically, against the backdrop of a new reality series called Armageddon, a group of eight ‘players’ have gathered within the most primeval of wooded surroundings one could possibly find: now animals, no people, oh, and NO ANIMALS! Keep that in mind. The typical intro to a reality game plays out introducing the characters: Nina (Erica Leerhsen), Jake (Texas Battle), Mara (Aleksa Paladino), Amber (Daniella Alonso), Jonesy (Steve Braun), M (Matthew Currie Holmes), Elena (Crystal Lowe), and Dale (Henry Rollins). Each has his or her story to tell, each swears victory, and each gets paired with another while they traipse through the forest attempting to survive any way possible amiss various games, traps, and, well –as it turns out- sub-humans. Though none to friendly to one another at first, each realizes that they are missing a key cast member without whom the game may not continue. She is one Kimberly (Kimberly Caldwell) who has just been involved in one of perhaps the most visually disturbing death scenes I have seen in quite some time: bisection via large axe. Just so, so gruesome. Well, a few shifts later and the games begin.

Well, as most good horror has taught us: let not the gore wait too long lest one may lose one’s core audience. The ‘spills’ start immediately and never stop. Back slicings revealing spine bones, full-frontal gutting, appendage consumption, arrows through several sets of eyes, exploding bodies, and a giant wood chipper thrown in just for laughs. In fact, some of these kills are so visceral and down right stomach churning I literally had to laugh just to keep from gagging! Forest-folk fun done up just right, and, just a bit of nudity tossed in for good measure. I’d say it’s worth the trip down this WRONG TURN, but that would be silly. Lastly, Henry Rollins, had we not already known it, kicks ass.

Stew Miller

No comments: