Avengers...Now???

So, this picture surfaced the other day concerning Marvel screwing up some of my favorite characters. Okay, really just Captain America, but still…ruined. Anyway, I wanted to put my two cents in and get this off my chest. I’m starting in the left hand upper row and working my way across and then down to the second row. I’ll put names to faces to make it less confusing.

MEDUSA – So, she doesn’t cover her face anymore, but we made sure to get some jewelry on her lady parts in the nether regions? Maybe it’s to make sure that Black Bolt doesn’t shred her when they are getting busy? One little moan from the leader of the Inhumans and her vageen is liquefied.

SCARLET WITCH – Classic look. She seems thinner. Did she lose weight for some reason?

IRON MAN – Where is the red and gold? Did Tony Stark use all of his paint allowance on fancy sports cars again? Now he looked like an armored Silver Surfer.

DOCTOR STRANGE –The form fitting costume looks a little sixties. He’s the Sorcerer Supreme not an opening act for Burt Wonderstone. Give me a break. Also, he appears thinner as well. Does magic make you skinny? Like Atkins?

ANT-MAN  - That helmet is stupid. Also, which of the seventy five incarnations of Ant-Man is this one? Hank Pym? Scott Lang? Paul Rudd?
WINTER SOLDIER – Winter Soldier is cool.

ANGELA  - What is this Red Sonja rip off from Spawn doing here? At least she’s not Thor’s sister or something dumb. What’s that? Oh nooooo…

THOR – Apparently Thor found out he had a sister and got mad jealous about the boobs. So, now he’s got boobs. Also, and this is just a guess…lady parts.

CAPTAIN AMERICA – Steve Rogers is Captain America. They have pulled this stunt before. They will do it again. Sam Wilson’s days are numbered and he don’t even know it. At least they let him keep the wings. It will be funny the first time he has to throw the shield and then spends an hour looking for it.

INFERNO – I wondered why The Human Torch was running around in some rags, but I guess this is someone else. I have no idea who this is. But, we already have a guy that can burst into flame. A few of them actually, so this guy should just go see if DC Comics can use him.

DEATHLOK – I always liked the design of Deathlok. This is just a copy from the show Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. It works on TV. Not in comics. In comics it looks dumb.

There you go, my two cents. Take it, leave it, I do not care. I am appreciative of Marvel making so many stupid changes. I am saving a bundle on comic books I no longer have to buy.