MARVEL COMICS NEEDS TO KNOCK IT OFF!!

Okay, first they killed Steve Rogers a.k.a. Captain America (Pictured above) Now, they have turned The Hulk red and Spider Man has made a deal with the devil to get Aunt May back and lose Mary Jane in the process. Aunt May is what, a bazillion years old? Be a man, Spidey, and let it go. Sheesh! This constant abuse from Marvel aimed squarely at it's readers has got to stop.
I have a solution.
Fire Joe Quesada.
He is the reason that Wolverine, Nick Fury and Howard The Duck don't smoke in comics anymore. Come on! I have been reading these characters for decades and had a lot less television propaganda concerning smoking waaaay back when and guess what? Didn't smoke. Not a smoker. Comics are not why people smoke. Howard The Duck without a cigar is unnatural.
Now, they are bringing back Captain America. Is it Steve Rogers? Then it ain't Captain America! Are writers so hard up that they constantly abuse the Death Card in their stories. I read comics for decades and they hardly ever did that. And when they did it was a big deal. Remember when they killed Captain Stacy and Gwen? Big deals. Now, they wipe out people on a regular basis and bring them back faster than they killed them.
Hey, Quesada, instead of worrying that a talking duck is gonna make kids smoke, why not worry that they constant barrage of death with no consequences is going to make children numb to the fragility of life and how it's a thing to be treasured not a writers device because they have no talent. Seems like that might be a little more important, dont ya think?
Tell ya what, Marvel. I will be glad to fill in for Quesada while you're looking for a real editor who doesn't have his head in his ass. Let's bring back the Marvel Comics that we all remember so fondly and stop this agenda that one man who seems bent on destroying Marvel Comics.
Oh and DC Comics? You aren't doing much better so watch it!

MEET THE SPARTANS

So, it was a lovely, freezing Sunday and Martha and I decided to go to the movies with the kids. Of course, the ladies wanted nothing to do with MEET THE SPARTANS,so they went to see NATIONAL TREASURE 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO. Me and the three lads opted for the toliet humor instead.
Using the basic framework of 300, the people who make all those spoof movies have finally made another good one. They manage to keep their focus on the basic storyline but interjected a lot of other films in the process. Among them are SHREK 3, SPIDER MAN 3 (Hmmm, seeing a pattern)and TRANSFORMERS. They give us quite a lot of gay humor, basically the Spartan men are gay and this works pretty well throughout the flick because they don't quite beat it to death.
They take stabs at Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Starbucks, blue screen effects in movies. Really anything that tickles their fancy.
In the end it was funny and that is really all that matters with this kind of movie. Kevin Sorbo was hilarious especially when he threatens to go all Hercules on someones ass. I fell out of my chair on that one.
I look forward to the inevitable unrated edition that will hit the DVD shelves sometime next month.
Oh, and a special note for you parents out there, my seven year old thought it was hilarious everytime that Leonidas said SHIT. And he says it a lot. Ahhh, good old fashioned toilet humor is finally making a richly deserved comeback.
Finally, one last thing. Carmen Electra is freaking smoking in this flick! She wears as little as possible and looks fantastic! There's a scene where all she has on is a slice of pizza and two tomato slices (I'll let you geniuses figure out where they are strategically placed) and I actually said WOW! in the theater. Want to go to the theater and just have fun without engaging your brainpan? then MEET THE SPARTANS is your ticket to hilarity.